Briana

tyleroakley:

drawing-bored:

Michael Hamm

HOW DO I MAKE HIM LOVE ME?

little-miss-disney:

When pixar does the thing that makes you question if you are actually watching a children’s movie.

tell us your most embarrassing story
Anonymous

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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okaywork:

why do moms get so pissed about how many empty water bottles you have in your room 

owlmylove:

avvadakedavvra:

disneyprincessdreams:

anniephantom:

why doesn’t disneyworld have a kuzcotopia

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Because they would have to destroy the homes of the locals to make room for it

that hasnt stopped any corporations before

#SHOTS FIRED

timelordes:

timelordes:

my best friends name is elsa and today she said “i wish people would stop asking me if i wanna build a fucking snowman”

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thegirldetective:

beyonceforbreakfast:

mallomallo:

gloomyteens:

gloomyteens:

when you feel your clothes fresh out of the oven

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OKAY SO I REALIZED I USED OVEN INSTEAD OF DISHWASHER BUT I KINDA FORGOT WHAT IT WAS CALLED AND USED THE NEXT BEST GUESS I COULD THINK OF

It’s called a washing machine

i think its a dryer like who would be feeling wet ass clothes

this post is a fucking train wreck

mommy:

New York

The only state whose residents don’t realize there are 49 other states.

(via 50 states)

Summary of Romeo and Juliet
romeo: im so sad
romeo: ill never be happy
romeo: a party sure why not ill just sulk around an- WOAH
romeo: WHO DAT
romeo: SHE GOT DA BOOTY
romeo: imma dance with her
romeo: *dancin wit teh juliet*
juliet: dafuq are you
romeo: shh *kiss*
juliet: :oo
*party over*
romeo: AYYY LOOK I FOUND DAT LADY'S HOUSE
romeo: LADY
romeo: HEY LADY
juliet: OMG HI I REMEMBER YOU
romeo: yeah its me hey wanna get married
juliet: dont you think its too soon
romeo: idk
juliet: brb
romeo: k
juliet: HEY YEAH LETS GET MARRIED TOMORROW
romeo: AWW YEAH I BET THIS PUTS ME ABOVE MERCUTIO AND BENVOLIO IN MAN POINTS
*next day*
rome and juli: FRIAR MARRY US PLEASE:
friar: idk and ROMEO WEREN'T YOU JUST SULKING OVER ROSALINE LIKE YESTERDAY
romeo: yeh
friar: ok fine ur married
rome and juli: yaaaay
*some time later*
tybalt: WELL SLAP MY BUTTOCKS AND CALL ME A MONTAGUE IS THAT ROMEO
mercutio: excuse you dont talk bout my friend like that
tybalt: shut up mercutio *stab*
mercutio: WAAHAHAH IM DED *he die*
romeo: hnnn
tybalt: ....
romeo HNNN
tybalt: ...
romeo: hnnnHIYAAAA *stab*
tybalt: oH NO IM DED AHH *he die too*
prince: ohmygod why did i JUST tell you yesterday about fighting
romeo: i sorry
prince: no ur banished
romeo: HWWHWHHAAAT YOU BANBISHED ME
romeo: *runs to friar* IMMA KILL MYSELF*
friar: no i have plan just go to mantua ok
romeo: k *leaves*
juliet: FRIAR HELP THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I KNEW FOR LIKE 1 DAY JUST GOT BANISHED IMMA KILL MYSELF
friar: NO JULIET I HAVE A PLAN you drink this potion you look dead you be put in capulet tomb until you wake up and romeo find you and you run away together
juliet: ok
juliet: *goes home and drinks potion*
nurse: hey juliet rise and shi- OOOH MY GOD LADY CAPULET COME HERE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
lady capulet: wha- OH NOO OH NO okay lets throw her in the tomb of dead people
nurse: k
juliet: *in da tomb* zzZzzZZzzzZ *not actually dead just sleepin*
romeo's servant: AYY YOO ROMEO I GOTS NEWS FOR YA
romeo's servant: JULIET'S DEAD
romeo: WHAT
romeo: WHAaaAaaaT
romeo: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND POISON MYSELF BEFORE LOOKING INTO THE SITUATION AT ALL OR CONTACTING THE FRIAR OR ANYTHING
romeo: *buys potion*
romeo: *breaks into the tomb of dead capulet people*
romeo: oh my god its juliet wow she doesn't even look dead
romeo: but im sure she is
romeo: *kiss juliet*
romeo: *drinks poison*
romeo: he ded
juliet: *yawning* YAWWWN oh i can't wait to see my rome- WHAT DAFUQ
juliet: IT'S ROMEO NEXT TO ME
juliet: HE DED
juliet: *grabs sword and stabs herself*
oh yeah and romeo also killed Paris in the tomb by the way forgot to add that b/c apparently killing tybalt wasn't enough
friar: *comes in cell*
friar: uh oh
prince: WHAT DIS
CAPULET: WHAT DIS
LADY CAPULET: WHAT DIS
MONTAGUE: WHAT DIS
CApULET: *strokes montagues face* brother

davidtennantseyebrow:

harroldstyle:

IM SO PISSED OFF THAT WE DONT HAVE BALLS ANY MORE
I WANT TO WEAR A HUGE DRESS AND BE COURTED AND DANCE AROUND AND HAVE MY GOWN SWEEP THE FLOOR AND BE ALL ELEGANT AND GRACEFUL WITH GLOVES AND SHIT

BUT NO WE HAVE DUMB HOUSE PARTIES WITH CHEAP BEER AND RED CUPS AND HORNY TEENAGE BOYS WHO PUT THEIR HANDS UP MY SHIRT 

i thought you meant testicles