So this kid left his phone in my math teachers classroom and instead of going over the homework, she spent the first 5 minutes of class taking pictures of the inside of her nose.
OMG MY 17 YEAR OLD COUSIN HAS A BUNCH OF HIS FRIENDS OVER RIGHT NOW AND I COULD HEAR THEM LISTENING TO FERGALICIOUS AND SINGING SO I BANGED ON THE WALL AND SHOUTED “I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS” AND THEN ONE OF THEM GOES “SHIT WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SHE WAS HOME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE WAS LIKE “NO ITS A PART OF OUR VIDEO GAME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE SHOUTS “DUDE WHY THE FUCK WOULD FERGALICIOUS BE IN A VIDEO GAME” IM CRYING
i gave my grandma two dollars to get me “an arizona tea and a Reese’s cup” and she brought me this and gave me my money back
this perfectly describes grandmas
My grandma would have given me a five and thrown in a new pair of shoes too.
im sorry i wasnt aware that this was the goddamn grandma olympics
Why am I awake who summoned me
Maybe that means your soul mate is thinking about you
My soul mate needs to go the fuck to sleep
The Epic Love Story of Korey and Hot Bearded Guy in its entirety.
Whenever I go to the dentist, I end up coming back with it looking like a scene from Jaws in my mouth.